Pre-Parenting

I'm realizing that one of the most important things about dealing with kids is having a very short-term memory. If I stay angry after an argument with the girls, they stay angry too. If I move on and regain a cheerful attitude, they do as well. I'm not very good at this. I'm good at staying angry.

I've learned at least two lessons over the past four years. The RUF internship taught me that there is life and fellowship outside of my family. Being an au pair is teaching me that there is life and fellowship outside of RUF. What's next?

Going Dutch

  

    The funny thing about the idea that Dutch people are cheap and stingy is that it is completely false. Every time someone here pays for something for me (which happens a lot) they mention the “going Dutch” phrase and laugh about how they aren’t.

    Yesterday I spent the day with some friends in Den Haag. We visited Madurodam, which is a park containing the Netherlands in miniature, at least all the important places. The above miniature of the Queen's house and gardens was my favorite. The gardens alone were about six feet by five in miniature, imagine how big they are in real life!

Joy Comes in the Morning

The day after my last post I learned that my oldest sister had given birth to a beautiful baby boy. I am an aunt! I didn't know I could love someone so much without having ever met them.

For God Alone, O My Soul, Wait in Silence

It has taken three months to get homesick. With the approach of my sister's due date I long to be with my family. I'm going to be an aunt! It took about three months last time too, until I wanted to run home to my mother, eat brownies, and not worry about anything resembling the relative of a responsibility. It's more than homesickness, though. For the past seven years there has been a loneliness that crashes over me now and again that has nothing to do with whether I am with my family or not. On the surface it's a desire to be married, to have someone want to be with me more than anyone else, someone with whom I can feel completely comfortable and not at all awkward. Underneath that, however, it's something more. I know that when I get married that loneliness will not go away. That feeling of being alone is there to drive me to God. He is the only one who can know me perfectly, and never, ever disappoint me. I recently re-expressed some of these thoughts to a dear, dear friend, and she sent me this verse in reply, Psalm 62:5:

"For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,
for my hope is from him."

A couple days later I started reading The Pursuit of God, by A.W. Tozer. It reminded me that I need to actively pursue God, not just passively observe Him. I'm good at passive, very, very good. I have made an art out of passivity. God grant me the fire to pursue Him with just a tiny fraction of the energy with which He pursues me.

Kit Kat

I don't like the new chunky Kit Kats. The chocolate to wafer ratio is all wrong, and it's painful to bite into them.

Queen's Day was an overall success. Went into Rotterdam with good friends and was in the crushing crowd just long enough to get my fill and not long enough to get tired of it. God save the queen!

Just got to spend four days in Ireland with my sister, and it was WONDERFUL. We spent the majority of the time in an absolutely beautiful coastal village called Wicklow, which had the ruins of a 14th century castle five minutes from our hostel. Needless to say we spent quite a bit of time up there enjoying the atmosphere. The best part about the trip was being with my sister. We were very self-involved and probably not as social as we could have been, but it was so, so good to talk with someone who can finish my sentences. It made me miss home more than I have yet, but I'll survive that!

Monday is Queen's Day here in the Netherlands. Apparently it is a very big deal, and I am very excited to experience it! I will be spending the day with one of my new Dutch friends in Rotterdam. Should be fun!

Van Harte Gefeliciteerd

Birthdays seem to be a big deal here. The girls sang no less than three different birthday songs to me this morning, followed by a rousing three cheers. A friend took me to lunch, and told everyone she talked to that it was my birthday. It made me feel very special! If I have to celebrate my birthday away from my family, this is the way to do it. :-)